What It’s Really Like to Work with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist)
When people hear the term sex addiction, it can bring up a lot of mixed reactions. Some people question if it’s even a real thing. Others worry that talking to a therapist about it will lead to judgment or shame.
But here’s the truth: if you’re stuck in patterns of sexual behavior that feel out of control, distressing, or misaligned with your values, you deserve support. And working with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) can be one of the most helpful ways to get that support.
Let’s talk about what that actually looks like—because it’s probably not what you think.
So... Is Sex Addiction Real?
The term sex addiction isn’t officially listed in the DSM-5, which is the manual many therapists use for diagnosing mental health conditions. Because of that, some people assume it must not be valid.
But current research tells a different story. Brain imaging studies have shown that people struggling with compulsive sexual behavior often display patterns similar to those with substance addictions. The brain’s reward and stress systems get tangled up, especially when someone uses sex or porn to cope with emotional pain, trauma, or anxiety.
In other words, it’s not about being “addicted to sex.” It’s about using sexual behaviors—often unintentionally—as a way to manage deeper emotional wounds.
What Does a CSAT Actually Do?
A CSAT is a therapist who’s received specialized training to help people navigate compulsive sexual behavior, porn struggles, or intimacy issues that feel hard to change.
But here’s the part many people don’t realize: CSATs aren’t here to shame you, label you, or tell you what’s right or wrong. They're trained to look at the whole picture—your story, your trauma, your relationships, your attachment history—and help you understand what’s really driving the behavior.
A good CSAT works through the lens of trauma and attachment, not moral judgment.
Common Myths About CSATs
Myth #1: “They’re going to shame me or tell me I’m bad.”
Nope. CSATs are specifically trained to create a safe, nonjudgmental space. You’ll never be shamed or punished for your behavior. Instead, you’ll be supported in understanding it and moving toward healing.
Myth #2: “They’re anti-sex or think sex is the problem.”
Actually, CSATs want to help you define what healthy sexuality means to you. They’re not here to tell you what your sex life should look like. They’re here to help you make sense of it in a way that feels grounded, connected, and aligned with your values.
Myth #3: “They’ll force me into a rigid recovery program.”
While CSATs may use structured assessments and tools, they know that therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. Whether your goal is sobriety, reducing harm, or just making sense of what’s going on, your experience is what shapes the work and you get to create your own goals that are again, aligned with YOUR values.
What If You’re the One Who’s Been Betrayed?
Many people find their way to a CSAT not because they’re struggling with compulsive sexual behavior themselves, but because they’ve been impacted by it in someone they love. If you’ve discovered a partner’s porn use, infidelity, or secret behaviors—and now you’re left reeling—that’s betrayal trauma. And it’s real.
Betrayal trauma hits at the core of your safety, your sense of reality, and your ability to trust. It can feel like your entire world has been flipped upside down.
CSATs are also trained to work with partners, not just those engaging in compulsive behavior. You don’t need to be in a relationship to start healing, and you don’t need to carry the shame of someone else’s behavior. Your pain is valid. Your boundaries matter. Your story deserves support.
If you’ve been betrayed, working with a CSAT can help you:
Make sense of the chaos and confusion
Reconnect with your inner knowing
Learn how trauma shows up in your body and nervous system
Set boundaries that feel safe and empowering
Begin the process of trust—first with yourself, and eventually with others
Healing from betrayal is possible. You don’t have to do it alone.
What Healing Can Look Like
Working with a CSAT can help you:
Identify and process the emotional pain that fuels the behavior
Build a more secure and regulated nervous system
Heal attachment wounds that impact your relationships
Learn new ways to connect with yourself and others
Develop a clear, personal definition of healthy sexuality
Reconnect with your integrity, values, and sense of self
This isn’t about being “addicted” or “broken.” It’s about understanding why behavior that feels out of control keeps happening, and learning new ways to cope that actually feel good long term.
You’re Not Alone
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of porn use, hook-ups, secrecy, or sexual behavior that leaves you feeling worse instead of better—you’re not the only one. And you don’t have to navigate it on your own.
Working with a CSAT offers a space to be real, explore the roots of your patterns, and start building a life that feels more connected and whole. There’s no judgment, no assumptions—just care, curiosity, and support.
Ready to Talk?
If you’re curious about working with a CSAT, or just want to explore whether this kind of therapy is right for you, I’d love to connect. You deserve a space where you can be fully seen, supported, and safe.
Click here if you’re ready to reach out.
