Motherhood and Recovering a Lost Identity

There’s a moment many mothers have that we don’t often talk about.

You look in the mirror. You’re holding your baby. The dishes are piled up, there’s spit-up on your shoulder, and you're suddenly asking yourself… Who am I right now?

Motherhood is beautiful. It’s full of love, purpose, and deep connection, but it can also feel like a quiet erasure of the person you once were. The version of you who had hobbies, dreams, routines, even silence. Anxiety often finds its way in during this time, whispering fears about whether you’re doing enough, being enough, or getting it all wrong.

If that’s where you are, I want you to know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone.

The Identity Shift of Motherhood

It’s natural for our identity to evolve when becoming a parent. That shift is real, and it can feel disorienting. It’s not just about having less time for yourself. It’s about no longer recognizing what you even want to do with that time when you finally get it.

This can leave space for anxiety to take root. When we lose touch with ourselves, our inner compass gets quieter. We start doubting our instincts. We overthink decisions, big and small. We may pour everything into our kids and leave nothing for ourselves. That self-abandonment can feel noble in the moment, but over time, it can start to chip away at our sense of worth.

Why Your Identity Matters!

You are more than a mother. And the parts of you that existed before kids: your curiosity, your creativity, your strength, your quiet, still matter. In fact, they are essential to your parenting.

When you hold onto who you are, you model something powerful to your children. You show them what it looks like to be a whole person. You show them how to love, how to rest, how to set boundaries, how to honor themselves. Modeling this is a gift.

Finding Yourself Again

Find yourself again isn’t about chasing your pre-baby life. It’s about honoring your present self and making room for her to breathe. You don’t need to overhaul your life to start reconnecting. Begin with small, intentional steps:

• Start asking yourself what you want, not just what’s needed.

• Carve out a few minutes a day for something that’s just for you, even if it’s sipping coffee without multitasking.

• Speak to yourself kindly. You’re doing something incredibly hard.

• Talk to someone about the mental load you're carrying. You don't have to hold it all alone.

You Still Matter

Motherhood is sacred, but so are you. You don’t have to choose between being a devoted parent and being yourself. In fact, the more connected you are to your own identity, the more grounded and present you can be for your child.

It’s okay to grieve the loss of who you were, and it’s also okay to be curious about who you’re becoming.

If you’re feeling lost in motherhood or struggling with anxiety, you’re not alone. This is exactly the kind of space I hold for mothers in my practice. You deserve support. You deserve to feel like you again. If this post resonates with you, and you’re ready to discover what more balance in your life can look like, I’m ready to meet you.